An open message to Ann O’Driscoll and Mersey O’Driscoll

Dear Ann and Mersey,

In view of your behaviour since our Mother’s death in September 2010 it is with great regret that I have found it necessary to publish the letter which you received, via my solicitor, on 14th July 2011. (full text here letter to Ann O’Driscoll and Mersey O’Driscoll 13.7.11)

For reasons best known to yourselves you have acted as if you are the only ones entitled to have a say in our Mother’s funeral and the design of her headstone.

Because I did not accept this, and had the entirely reasonable wish to have an input into my mother’s funeral and headstone, you have conducted what can only be described as a hate campaign against me with our relatives in Ireland and the UK, spreading all sorts of false allegations, one of the most offensive being that I would not contribute to our mother’s funeral or headstone costs. A few days after our mother’s funeral I received, out of the blue, a barrage of abusive texts from Ann, culminating in an explicit death threat.

I wrote to you, via my solicitor, in July 2011 and I am making that letter publicly available here as it documents the many occasions on which I have offered to pay my share (and indeed more than my share) of the funeral costs and the cost of the headstone, provided I could have some input to the design of the headstone. In this letter I also asked you to desist from making the false allegations referred to above.

I also suggested a simple way to end the conflict between us, by allowing me to have the smallest of inputs to the design of our mother’s headstone; not something that I should have to ask you for since no decent person would, as you have, treat their mother’s grave as a commodity which they can monopolise. My solicitor has confirmed that up to the time of writing this (29.9.11) no response has been received to the letter I sent you so you clearly have no interest in resolving this matter in a grown up and peaceful way.

I am publishing the letter which I sent you in July so that the facts of this matter are there for everyone to see and I hope it is it very clear to you that there will be serious legal consequences for you should you ever repeat such unfounded, vicious and spiteful allegations in public or in my presence.

I cannot stop you from spreading lies about me in private though I would suggest that you stop trying to involve our relatives in this conflict; it is an embarrassment to our family and a nuisance to those who do not wish to be part of your games.

Our mother was a peaceful, reasonable and fair-minded person and she would have been horrified to see two of her children putting themselves on a pedestal, claiming some sort of exclusivity on her love, and indeed on her grave and headstone, whilst systematically trying to poison other family members against her son.

In placing more importance on your own agenda of control of Mum’s funeral and headstone than on what our Mother would have wanted you have caused me a great deal of pain but much more importantly you have disrespected our Mother’s memory and shown what your real motivations are in this matter.

Anyone who would like further details and documentation regarding this matter please feel free to email me at florenceodriscoll@yahoo.co.uk

Florence Michael O’Driscoll

7th January 2013

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  1. Thanks Denise – I appreciate your support as ever. Yes they did blank me at our mother’s grave in September but bizarrely that didn’t stop Ann emailing you at 3am in a ‘tired and emotional’ state, haranguing you for not introducing yourself to her! To be honest I would not have expected anything else on meeting them there and the last thing I would have wanted would have been some sort of row or scene in that place, so silence was probably the best option. I do recall looking at each of them and none of them could look me in the eye – not surprising considering all that they have done. Incidentally Ann did email me (19 May 2011 17:26) saying that we could discuss my input regarding the headstone but first I had to apologise to Ann for ‘turning both the funeral and now the memorial into a farce’. I wonder how I could have achieved that having had no input into either? I don’t recall the funeral being a farce apart from the fact that Mersey forgot to organise any transport to the cemetery, two miles from the church (I did email her on that point before the funeral but she ignored it) and the poisonous atmosphere that Ann and Mersey created which I did my best to ignore. So of course I would not have anything to apologise for and Ann was well aware of that – just another silly little game being played with our mother’s grave.

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  2. What a shame, that your sisters could not compromise even a little bit, by letting you have some input on your mothers gravestone Michael. This is very sad, that instead of coming together at your time of grief this has split the family, and apparently involved others to hurt and isolate you further, injury to insult.
    My highest hope, would be for a resolution of this entrenched position held by Ann and Mersey, and a healing of the wounds. Short of that, after seeing first hand how they treated you like a leper, no actually worse than that, at least you might run from or acknowledge a leper, more like an non-entity, a ghost, by completely shunning you at the time you needed their understanding the most. How unkindly of them, so sorry for your loss, not just your mother, but of your family as well. Deepest Sympathies, Cousin Denise

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